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I wait here by an open window with an empty box of matches.
I wait here for my sweetheart.
I wait here by the howling wind and the turning soil.
I wait here for my sweetheart.
Sky breaks open and pours all over us; hungry land and heaving trees.
Sky breaks open and rains down her grief.
Sky breaks open and we’re naked to the sunrise. Hidden behind a blanket of storm cloud.
She smiles and all the birds sing.
I wait here and breath in deep.
The marred and twisted child needn’t seek refuge in the arms of a blindfolded middle class.
The marred and tortured  child need not seek refuge in the arms of man.
The marred and battered child need only seek refuge in wet soil aplenty.. and dark and brooding storm cloud..
that houses a fury of wildness
that beats in visceral gut
that manufactured this disease.
Spoonfed wildness, creator of birth, of bounty and vicious beast.

She fell gracefully.
Handed down.
Down.
Down the old isle of deathly steps from the grips of old great gods.
Gods of thunder and sky.. that churned above us.
She fell gracefully and whimpered as a kitten to a butterfly when she feel simply to the earthly floor.
Like a feather to a blanket.
And she moaned.
Her ivory teeth adorned as vitreous whitewares glowing in a moonlit bathroom after midnight.
Blue filtered and wise.
Clenched; they did bite.
Bite on. Bite down.
Bite on the nothingness of the everything that surrounded her.
Ever so gently with teeth as soft as little stones tumbling over wild rocks.
Wild rocks embraced by the bubbling of a wandering stream.
She gasped and collapsed and filled herself with breeze.
The strength of her composite body rippled outward in waveforms from beneath the ticking of her overzealous electric mind.
Her electric mind, that; being an entity that is weaved together by an intricate network of threads that make up her larger electric body, pulsated there gently.
Like an intergalactic moon rock awaiting its descent into the unchartered valleys in the realms of ancient long lost homelands; unscathed by the passages of time.
She waited awhile.

“Oh! Friendly cloud, look! Here I am.. up in the sky with you.. floating gently as a mote on the breeze… watching my uterus get devoured by wild dogs and insects on the dusty red ground.. only to be stitched together again by mystic men and washed clean in the bubbling waters of the old river.”

Floating eternally here on borrowed time.

Eternally walking into the sun there setting.. on the horizon line wide..
eternally walking through barren landscape on that stretch of open road in mind..
eternally walking there in sparkly sequined suit divine..
tatters adorn her; by the end of the ride.
Falling; feet bloodied on the bitumen she dives.
Picking herself up. Again and again
Stumbling upon another magic man’s pen
Stumbling again to the next mirage in clear sight.
Stumbling again to the next unimaginable height.

Fumbling and running into a land of sweet delight
stitched into the fabric of a land without light.

Eternal. Open wide.

haircut? new face? paper bag? plastic face? sequin face? feather face? fire comedy mask? Britney smooth mud mask head rub? roll in grass til body becomes grass? fill mouth with explosives? run til vomiting point? shower at boiling point? walk naked into horizon? dance until bloody foot fall down? gently siphon fat stores before feeding to hungry hippo while he shivers through Alaskan winter? buy pineapple? pin apples to a pine tree? water tragedy mask? drink fermented herb ale til blackout? swim naked into horizon? eat fermented herb grain til spontaneous combustion caused by a build up of gas pressure in body air bag? gamble runes for a quart of buffalo milk? fill face lines with polymer gap filler bought from local hardware store for $11.99? speak squeaky infantile femme voice to fit gender stereotype at 22.43? enamored stranger rapture? activate seduction sequence 342 at an airspeed velocity of 10 metres per second? activate almonds before placing inside agate crystal ball to insert into vaginal canal for strengthening of the pelvic floor muscles before menopausal decline? pay homeless classical music maverick man to give back massage with ergonomic future hand? paint face? clay face? meat face? soil face? leak face? smoosh face? jump backward spin wingbeat amplitude of 90 degrees/17cm? gather ratio, inject with custard feel, feed to ‘at risk’ juveniles as special hypercolour frosted cinnamon donut from Wagga Wagga? disguise dark emotions in hieroglyphic religious textbook and escape to secret island off the coast of Bermuda with a soft Portugese gymnast? have a think? sit in sink? prance awhile as le peacock in le soft fluffy towel? simmer sympathetic sentiment in hot hormone injected chicken broth for 20 minutes before returning to Manus island in Styrofoam cup marked ‘xox’? love thy neighbour? love thy neighbour’s wife? love thy neighbour’s disturbing taste in moral etiquette? love thy bald cockatoo that calls all ladies ‘missus cream party pie’? cast nude shadow of female silhouette over deep rooted feeling of loneliness and isolation while listening to white noise in an Epsom salt bath on the 10th floor of a high rise apartment building in Subiaco? just can’t get enough, can’t get enough.

She’s reclining. Extravagant. In cognito.
She’s reclining.
She’s leaping up gracefully; as a virgin to a rose.
She’s taking his hand from behind; with a swiftness reserved for a low flying swallow.
She’s guiding him.
Blindfolded, through the space.
She’s bouncing; on her tiptoes.
She’s comfortable
She’s there.. in the skin she’s in.
She’s peering around sharp corners.
She’s lurking in.
She’s lurking in on a feather footed stance.
That twists there seductive.
Gestures there instructive.
Sways there erotic; like a serpent to a vine.
She wears a theatrical glimmer in her questionable bedroom smile.
She wears a theatrical glimmer in a glitter marked eye.
Perched atop a deep ocean of knowledge wide.
She reads you as she strides.
She sweeps through there as she glides.
She’s a trickster; a dancer in disguise.

 

Get on train.

A strange short bearded woman briskly walks up to me, wraps her fingers around both my plaits and faces me while looking into my eyes and smiling

“Your hair is so pretty”
“Oh.. well thank you”
“So pretty”
“Thank you”
“Will you do my hair like that when it grows?”
“Sure”
“How long will it take? 2 years? ”
“Depends. Depends how quickly your hair grows”
[She puts her hand on my belly]
“How old are you? you’re skinny”
“29 in a couple of weeks”
“I’m skinnier than you, I’m 50”
“No way! Really?”
“Yep”
“You’re not 50”
“Yeah I am”
“Wow you’re looking good for 50 then”
“Thanks. I’m getting a husband”
“Ahh really?”
“Yeah from the middle east”
“Is that where the husband tree grows?”
“Haha yes”
“Where in the middle east?”
“Lebanon”
“Oh okay, so that’s where you met him then huh?”
“Yep”
“Well congratulations”
“Thank you, I’m getting off, bye”
[Abruptly pushes past me to leave]

I look up and all the seniors are smiling at me and I realize we have won hearts.

God bless mental illness sometimes hey. Cute AF

He first started forgetting the little things, like the taste of those chewy pineapple candies that (his best friend) Tom’s mum used to give him at the end of soccer practice every friday after school.

Memories like those didn’t matter all that much to him though so he persisted with his daily conquests; all the while ignoring the expanding abyss that lingered closely behind him.

He doesn’t know what he wants right now, because he can’t exactly remember what it feels like to want something. But he does like the way she starts stretching when she’s nervous around him and her tendency to exaggerate her blinking when she’s grappling with a foreign concept. These quirks in conjunction with other, more superficial observations were enough for him to agree to go out fly fishing with her on a tuesday evening when the moon was at its highest peak.

“How high are you?” “6 ft 3”

He didn’t like the way she knew what he was going to say next. He didn’t trust that. She couldn’t be trusted. There was something unnatural about it all. Or more so, too natural, too.. how would one put it? Too ethereal perhaps. Too far removed from the physicality of the human plane. That which is a necessity for survival, for his survuval, for the survival of every one of us (whether we admit it or not).That which is conducive to grounding, that which signifies order.

I fumble as I accidentally rip the door off its hinges and sprawl out on the floor with my oil pastels (an alternate word form for the widely used Modern English term, ‘crayons’ utilized by the creative elite to distance themselves from associations to the naive cognitive states of the human child).

We are whales

Swimming in whale waters

Implanted there; the squirming..
in a radical resolve.
3 feet down and fumbling;
for an air of pure smoke.

A bull in heather; crouching
unabated
gasping for an inhalant; a forbidden drawn-out toke

A bull in heather; slouching
dilapidated
gasping for an inhalant; the rose, a pure mote

And you are slowly slithering
through mask; a sinew broke

And you are slowly withering
though blast conceals the choke

A fever there; offensive
the rouge and naked stroke

 

 

VACANT LOT

She leaves the 5th floor of her office building for her lunch break at thirteen hundred and six hours. By thirteen hundred and eight she’s out the cramped elevator scene and moving through a large glass carousel – from a tense cool to an erotic heat.

Now we have her.. careering atop the seering asphalt streets, alongside glossy office facades. She wants banh mi from the trendy fusion cafe, 2 blocks south easterly from her current positon. To do so, while retaining ample chill time with minimal interference from transit time, she must first pass through the vacant lot, that is lodged between 2 high rise buildings. One, an apartment complex, the other, a cluster of more dull office spaces behind buffed and tinted glass panes.

She extends her black leather heel (that houses her right foot) away from the speckled grey slabs of concrete, that form the urban footpath, on to the (slightly lighter) grey sand grains that dwell in the vacant space of the lot. Foot poised – the motion of it cutting through mid air, seems to last an eternity.

And as she steps out… immediately, she is transported. Transported to arid desert lands. Lands littered with little white pebbles and larger, more endearing rocks. Her muscles are at rest and her skin soothed and softening. All the while heating, steadily.

The Cassia nemophilas; a sub species of evergreen shrub from the fabaceae family – that thrive in dry conditions – quiver relentlessly in her presence. There she slides through the scene like jelly.

The air is hot, thick and dense, it wobbles her vision. Closing in on the centre of her iris from her external periphery. Gathering around her body, like gelationous putty and she pushes through it gently, with the motions of a deep sea dancer. Translucent tendrils extending from nearby plant life (melaleuca ellipticas) caress her as she passes, and frill out then split at their tips. Perfect terrain for a hydrozoa variant, for a creature, for a mucous membrane, reeling.

An omnipresent humm breathes through everything in this otherwise silent empty encasing, in the void here, in the vacant lot here.

Her cornea floods over with white light. Pins and needles swoop in from the right. And then suddenly, abruptly, but for touch, there are no senses left to guide her. She reaches out for a solid object to grasp on to, for assurance, for security, for motion relief. Even though her heart rate remains steady and her nerves at ease.

She finds a metallic beam. Spins around it, radially accelerated and rips it square clean from its foundations. She pulls it through the thick putty air toward her upper body – with the pose of a proud weight lifting carney of the 19th century persuasion.

Clasping either end with a firm grip, she pushes them downward into themselves, which produces a bend at the central most part of the beam. The pressure in the bend colliding with external magnetic pressure is enough for it to snap, right there in the centre. Tiny bubbles of air radiate outward from the break itself, swimming on a centrifugal wave pattern of reactional force, that extends through to the outer reaches of the lot.

This creates a rhythmic ebb and flow in the air, she feels it through to her hair follicles that brace dark auburn strands as they sway, like exotic waving sea grasses in amongst it all.

These motions are enough to lift her up off of the ground and propel her foward in a swooping motion. She is her own spirit level now.

With the beam in two separate parts, resting in either hand, she extends her arms outward before her. At an aproximate distance of 320mm apart, she feels the metal of the beams heat up and char her outermost layer of skin, it does not hurt too badly though, so she persists. Still swiftly moving foward.

From within the hollows of the 2 beams, emerge 2 large luminescent annelids (segmented worms). Equipped with the capacity for high and low voltage discharges in their electric organs. These organs are made of electrocytes, lined up so that a current of ions can flow evenly throughout their trunks. They slither erratic.

As they furl out of the ends of the beams – out of their hollow houses – they curl and charge with seemingly sinister intent.

She can feel this shift in the air in and around her and, as an effect, her heart skips a beat.

With a quick lash and whip they crack and coil around her wrists in unison. Synchronistically slithering up her forearms to the bends of her elbows.
She holds her breath. There they stop. She holds her breath. Time falls away like a snake skin suit, as minute particle fibres float over the microscpic grasslands that cover her body. The annelid’s hundreds of chitinous bristles extend outwardly from their bellies, rapidly transitioning into solid wirey forms – cold and metallic.

They puncture right through her dermis like spines, straight to her sensory nerve endings. She emits a short sharp sound akin to a lamb’s bleat as, everything on the rupture path is singed, before a discharge of 5 volts is injected into each nerve. Complete musclular seizure. She’s elevated – suspended there – stark like a Martyr caught unawares.

With the instantaneous sharp sting of a burning bite, she is exposed in violent white. Left confined to the single image of a mote, in clear sight, through new found eyes. A mote steadily careering across the frame. She sees it pitter patter on the rhythm of the airwaves lines.

She’s a celestial spherical entity now – sky high – connected to her physical form only by an intricate network of electric strings alone. Interwoven and patterned geometric. The strings oscillate gently in the silence, emitting a humm out through the void.

There mesmerized, she sees all form disintegrate and scatter through space as powdered clouds roaming. Lightness remains and motion is sustained. All time stands still.

Then she drops. Plummetting 2 metres to the hard rock floor. She braces herself and crashes down in a defense position, just as an itty bitty slater would. Eyes slammed shut, fingers clasped tight around locked ankles, before the thud..

..But the thud never comes. And yet she feels the surface beneath her – a course gravel atop a magnetic earth.

Sinking back into her body again she feels breezes moving over her back and swirling around the spaces ‘tween her limbs contracted. Although it’s a soft gentle touch and the hushes of its whispers are soothing, she can’t quite bring herself to open her eyes again.

So she sits there for a moment longer.. thinking of a distant scene, familiar but unfamiliar simultaneously. Sitting there, she absorbs all the sensations that come along with it.

A nightscape of a large bridge. Spread across a harbour wide. Behind city lights. Scents of damp grass and whiskey infused tobacco float in and out of her range. The set is dressed in moonlight and starry eyes, that perforate a black liquid sky. Filling her with jazz and romance and a cool kind of fire. The tragedy of this excessive existential beauty is enough to snap her out of it.

So she stretches her limbs outwardly in this (for narratives sake) present reality, one by one. Each and every joint cracks on the inside. And with each and every muscle extension she feels an aching pull, as though they’d never been used before. And lastly, she opens her eyes.

And here she is, there, here. Just outside of the vacant lot, at the other side, on a driveway. Staring at a ‘no parking’ sign next to a sunburnt fire hydrant.

The sky is blue, devoid of any clouds with a sun sitting above it all, observing, overseeing , glowing like a god.

The footpath bustles with weekday workers, chaotically wandering, but the remnants of silence from a still pace still linger in and around her.

In the distance she hears a bird call – it sounds like the song of the currawong – wavering.

Gazing down at her forearms, she notices her skin – flawless and glowing in the light of day. But she feels it still. That sensation it maintains, a tingle knowingly fizzinging with a deep sensitivity. She gets up on to her feet and brushes off the grey sand grains from the smooth soft fabric that covers her knees, crease free. At ease.

An old one eyed man comes in from the left. He hobbles from side to side in her direction on a swollen diabetic foot, with the wounds of a staph infection weeping. In his eye he carries the wisdom of one hundred and twelve kings but he needn’t say a thing, so he doesn’t. He just walks by casually, blinking over a hand painted eye.

 It’s a cold, angry place here. The concrete shuts the ground out so the earth can’t breathe. The sun heats it up in tiny pockets of grey and reflects it back upon us as we fumble through the streets preoccupied with our daily conquests.

The buildings hide the the sun, shadowing larger, greyer pockets, cooling the slabs and joining forces with ancient winds. The winds there, as they flow through artificial pathways in gusts and blows. Cooling our bloods and teasing our nerves, muscles tense here mechanically, erratically.

Here where Yagan and his father and his brothers flow. As winds over high risen sharps, 90 degrees, valleys steep and stooped deep unease.
Main roads winding through urban mechanic man’s chimes with structural symphonies in twisted rhymes.

And as we fumble through the streets preoccupied with our daily conquests, magic lines soar and fall. As we fumble through the streets preoccupied with our daily conquests, time flies and stumbles and crawls. We fumble as we wonder what to do here, Free here. How to be here.. in these tiny grey pockets of peace in space/time.

Drink a tea endorsed by Kamal. Eat an ethically sound lamb slow roasted in a spiced marinade on a bed of vegetables and an indian subcontinental rice dish. Smile at a brother. Walk into a group of tourists and trip over the floor. Ignore a dishevelled outcast who’s been consumed by a great beast in the throws of crime and punishment. Watch the children play in the leaves as they blow on the face of institutional law. She screams at her sister from the end of the aether, from the end of her tether, and he sucks in a noxious substance and disipates through thickened dead-weight air.

By virtue of the passing of time, we are all at a disadvantage.. but chimes ring on and conveyor belts roll. We breathe and we breed and we feed and we bleed. A fire burns low as a star there glitters and glows. A seed will find somewhere to flourish and grow. In amongst the mildew of straight, narrow and uniform rows. The earth will find a way to crack neath our feet. The sun will be there clad in the breeze. Clad in the beat of our feet, as they tramp here steadily til we sleep.